Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Is Bristol Still in Love with Levi ?


So Levi has clearly moved on with his life, he and Sunny seem genuinely happy and in love.  The road ahead no doubt will be bumpy but we wish them well.  It certainly won’t be easy for them; a big grey cloud named Palin will always be looming on the horizon, waiting to attack whenever necessary. 

Bristol's reaction to this news was expressed as “sadness” “anger” and “disgust”?  Those words speak volumes. They point to many unresolved feelings for Levi. IF Bristol were truly happy with Gino, Levi would no longer matter to her.  The truth is that Bristol is still in love with Levi.  So why can’t she let him go? Could it be that her own personal issues with jealousy, and low self-esteem had anything to do with the break-up? You betcha! They would certainly cause major problems in any relationship. But instead of taking responsibility for them, she is still placing blame on Levi.  She keeps repeating the infamous mantra taught to her by her momma “it’s not my fault”, “it's always someone else’s fault”, “I’m the victim”, "yadda, yadda, yadda" so on and so forth.  But what she doesn't realize is that as long as she feels anger or resentment for Levi, she is blocking herself not only from love but from the truth as well and it makes it impossible to move on, or to let go.

She is still mad at him; she blames him for the ruined relationship, it was his entire fault, she did not have total control, which is unacceptable.  Maybe he was unfaithful, maybe he was dishonest, but what ever it was he hurt her feelings and she can’t forgive him.  She is still jealous and insecure, this emotional disorder goes hand in hand with low self- esteem.  It's definitely rabbit hole material.

It’s obvious that she is dealing with some serious self-esteem issues, her jealousy for example has been a topic on many blogs, and is linked to having a poor self-image, insecurity, fear.  Cosmetic surgery at her age is cry out for approval and validation and social acceptance it will not solve her feelings of insecurity.  None of this was her fault though; she was not born that way.  Childhood and upbringing had a great deal of influence in that area; Perhaps physical or mental abuse, negative feedback (either from parents, family, teachers, authority figures, friends).  No feedback-which just as detrimental as negative feedback.  Lack of attention and encouragement, (parents always too busy, probably on their blackberries).  Embarrassing occasions, failures, all these or any of these could be contributing factors that shape self-esteem.  I truly believe she would greatly benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and talking through some of these issues so that she doesn't pass them on to her children as it has been passed on to her .  She needs to break the cycle and rise above.  

Has anyone enlightened her to the fact that “through the eyes of  a child” criticizing the other parent is the same as criticizing him or her and not necessarily the other parent.  Meaning every time she criticizes Levi, she is also also criticizing Tripp.   One day soon Tripp will be old enough to read that book she had ghostwritten and will be able to search the Internet, he will figure it all out, and he will resent her. 

My Advice for Bristol:

Life goes by faster that you think…and now it’s time for you to put on your big girls spanx and do what's right for your son.  You have the  power to stop this drama with Levi and make things right, for yourself and for Tripp.  Is your desperation for money and/or attention that bad that you need to trash your son’s father in public? Of course Levi should be paying child support, but it’s not like you are poverty stricken like most teenagers in your position. These are custody issues that should be handled in private and in the courts, not TMZ.   Bristol, stop listening to your momma, she needs an intervention- she needs help!   She is dragging you into her dysfunctional world of lies and vindictiveness, she has given you bad advice instead of trying to get you the help you need.  Maybe, just maybe things could have worked out with Levi,  instead you are having to "worry" about Tripp’s 10 half siblings. 

Money will never buy happiness no matter what your momma tells you. You will one day discover that the most important things in life aren’t things. Forgiveness is the key to your happiness in this situation and the only way you can move forward.

One more thing …it was interesting to read to that your concern for Tripp was his feeling of humiliation because of “half-siblings.”  Huh, Really? Half-siblings, only? Think about that one for a minute; especially when you go into your “trial marriage” with Gino.  Geez Bristol I thought you learned your lesson the first time.  But I digress; anyway as I understand it, this “humiliation” is called “projection” on your part (one "projects" one's own undesirable thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings onto someone else.)  The only way he will feel humiliated by having half-siblings is if he learns it from you.  Which reminds me have you ever read the poem “Children Learn What They Live”, one of my favorites:

Children Learn What They Live


If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

You can never change the past, move on, move forward, and let it go. Seek happiness and peace instead of fame and fortune. 

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